the root
'Sexism is the root of all isms and xenophobias. You can cut the branches, but until you address the root, the branches just keep growing back.' Gospel Of Thomai #GOThomai

The word I chose for the New Year is
is the word that chose me via chance / cut up / random magic.
I AM good with this. Happy New Year, everyone --
What is your word and what are you manifesting? #blessedbe

The MetaHara Healing and Storytelling Sanctuary is in the making.

The other day I learned that there are people who think women didn't want to have careers and didn't have callings outside of taking care of men and children. It never occurred to me that anyone could think that. I always thought people were consciously oppressing 51% of the population, not that anyone could actually believe women didn't want to have careers, independence, own property, have a say in how the world is run.

Throughout my childhood I was told repeatedly that I could not be this or that when I grow up because I am a female. It didn’t occur to me that my oppressors put those limitations in place to ‘protect me’. Protect me from what, I wondered? Were they protecting me from benefitting society? Protecting me from experiencing my bliss?  I knew they were wrong about my desire to develop my talents, but I didn’t know how to get them to support me in my pursuits. I learned to do the best I could on my own, in spite of the fact that they could never imagine me fulfilling my dreams.

By age 5, I announced that my calling was to be as much like the prophet as possible, a priest, and a healer. Of course I was denied; the adults in my life were followers of a sexist religion.  By 12, I left the religion I was raised in, knowing any practice that did not include equality, was not worthy of my dedication.  As I grew into adulthood, I studied with shamans and midwives, taught Hatha Yoga for 22 years, Pranayama, Meditation, Visualization, I shared Herbal remedies, shared and taught Reiki along with other forms of energy and movement healing work in my T.O.M / Temple of Movement workshops. I taught vegan nutrition and cooking techniques, I coached and trained people. With an eye that could replace binary sexist words like ‘him’ and ‘father’ to  ‘all’ and ‘creator’ and ‘heaven’ to ‘source’, I re read many passages in the bible and the Gospels of Saint Thomas.  Studying world religions, in particular indigenous spiritual practices, was as enjoyable as studying mythology for me. Those studies inspired theatrical, multimedia shows about archetypes.  While in group energy that is meditating, visioning, expressing gratitude for life, if that group happens to be part of a sexist organization, I’ll either change the language in my head or leave.  The adults in my childhood were correct, I could not be a religious leader and be a woman, not the kind of woman I am.

Like most, I was told it was not ‘right’ or safe for a woman to travel without a man. Those warnings meant nothing to me as I traveled for months at a time to Morocco, Brazil, Mexico / Yucatan, Spain, France, Italy, Greece, with stints in Iceland, Amsterdam and Canada. The experience of traveling to countries where most of the locals didn’t speak English (90’s) enriched my life. It forced me into a state of openness and awareness. I was reading the energy and body language of every person I encountered and went wherever I felt called. Those adventures were transcendent.  Like Dorothy and Alice, I was full of wide- eyed wonder every day, living with locals and soaking up as much of the culture as an American artist could.  Back in the states I moved from the suburbs my family home was in, to inner city Detroit, NYC, New Orleans, Chicago, Seattle, and L.A. Each city informed my art much the same way different mediums do. They called forth different aspects of my being.  As I drove across the country numerous times through some 38 states or so, I was able to study and appreciate the diversity this country I was born in and love, has to offer. I know what it is to be brought to my knees by the many varied and glorious splendors of the world, to have my heart expanded by the generosity of spirit and unconditional love encountered, and to know the kindness of fellow travelers.  I felt more safe while traveling, than not.

Meeting people in different cultures whose personalities so closely matched those I knew in the states, informed my civil rights activism.  Living in local’s homes decades before AirBnB, and learning about various cultures, was an enjoyable way to be humbled. Being exposed to a variety of healing remedies for the lung ailment that often and randomly disabled me, whether those remedies helped my physical ailment or not, were healing on a soul level. I lived a low- income life and experienced poverty at times, but the call to travel fueled a rich experience. The Hilton or Four Seasons experience didn’t interest me back then; my travels were about learning the culture. Odd jobs- sometimes two, three or four at a time funded most of my travels. The privilege of being born in a Greek family allowed me to travel further with the deep understanding that if I ever needed help, I could always go home. No matter where I was, I could get a job in any Greek establishment if I needed to (thanks Pike Street Souvlaki stand). That privilege gave me the confidence to continue exploring on even the tightest budget.  While I certainly lacked financial privilege, I had youthful, beauty privilege, skin tone privilege, the privilege of “passing’ as a local in most countries I traveled to and an easy openness with people.  Traveling was worth the sacrifice; it was healing, revealing, it informed my parenting, activism, and my art. I learned from my travel and time in the hospital (at least 5 days per month while growing up) that no matter how much I suffered, there were people suffering more and they were family to me- we are all one. There is always a way to ease somoneone's suffering- everywhere, everyone can use uplfitment.

Perhaps some of my passion for traveling the world was due to my shorter life expectancy? One day, when natural remedies for my lungs fell short, modern medicine came up with a pill and a new type of inhaler that would free me from constant life threat. The hours and energy I spent daily on breathing exercises and lung healing practices were suddenly freed up.  I set my sights on writing, directing and producing film and television- and on a distant grander vision of a sanctuary / studio. I chose the 'on set' training path and worked my way up from the bottom of the totem pole, working in nearly every dept., collecting gems (cast and crew) along the way.  Several times I was told that I couldn’t be a director, because I'm a female. I've seen women with talent and skills being passed over for directing gigs that went to men who weren't ready, weren't yet worthy of the budgets, many times over.  It's a common for women who pursue directing careers to be discouraged. So what?  Centuries of women’s oppression or not, I'm a woman and I’m a director. I'm forever in gratitude for the encouragement I’ve received from actors who inform me that I’m a “actors director” - their praise runs through my head anytime someone denies my calling. My gratitude for producers, scripties, DPs, gaffers, grips, make up, costumers, production designers, every kind of crewmember who has ever cheered me on, inspires me. I'm also a producer and a collaborative writer. I have vision. I'm going to keep going, developing skills that support my talents, surpassing my goals, telling stories, achieving higher production values, reaching wider and wider audiences. I'm using the time I thought I didn't have, to make a difference.

Now, regardless of the enormous setback in civil rights that the USA is about to implode with, my vision continues, strengthens and picks up speed. My long-term vision is for the MetaHara Healing and Storytelling Sanctuary. It's a studio, a school, an amphitheater, a healing center and it's permaculture. As an adult, I’ve been told to my face that I am a talented and skilled director.  I have a calling, a purpose, and a career --a life that is worthy of equal rights.  I am dedicated – I am living my life as long and fully as I can.

#director #writer #producer #film #TV #action #scifi #adventure#timeless #universal #storytelling #MetaHara#ReachaWiderAudience#BuildItandTheyWillCome

Words to live by from my sweet friend, Claes.

"You are an amazing human being
and good things will keep coming to you
as long as you
keep moving forward."

Claes Lilja on the eve of my 50th birthday

Mission- the long term goal
buy property- build a productive, sustainable sanctuary for runaways of all ages to create theater, music, film, grow herbs, vegetables, fruits, flowers, practice yoga, martial arts and various healing modalities.

Know your audience- then do as you please ;)
A teacher once gave me a grade of C for an A+ oral report based on the ignorance of my audience, "Know your audience, the students do not understand your reference to the 'I have a dream' speech". I learned to be more careful of who I choose to surround myself with and to not stay in an institution that assumes ignorance from it's members. I learned that sometimes it's OK to speak over someone's head, and other times it's good to filter, so as not to get that glossed over look. Whether I honor the learning or not, thanks to what I still think was an unfair grade, I wont ever forget the words "Know your audience".

I started fitbit today- encouraged by a colleague on Facebook.
I like this program!
Got me moving more than I would have today, helps keep track of nutrition as well.

compassion instead
Where it may be easy to curse, find forgiveness.
When confronted with rigid, officious behavior,
have compassion.
We know that rigid stance tightens with fear.
Project light at that darkness, feel the peace within you.
Stay strong in your center,
knowing inside and out that you are one.

My view
Moments after the rain, silver and gold lined clouds. Fresh scent, cool breeze~ January in L.A.
photo (6)

photo (4)
10 minutes later:
photo (7)
pink clouds, gold and silver cloud linings- my iPhone camera barely does it justice.

Cottonwood tree ideally
I saw a post about this company on Facebook.
I love this idea and hope this is what would be made of my body when my spirit has moved on:

I wonder who would plant it and where? I would be fine with Maple or Pine, though Cottonwoods are my favorite tree.

One Word

To the small voice within, to my environment, to people I work with, to family and friends, to the happenings as they are happening, to the creative within, hear and share the stories that are asking to be told. Listen more, talk less. Listen more, write more. Shhhhh. Go within. Share with ease.

I must write the stories I have inside. Seeking out the best writing course. I have books about writing for TV and film; they may be of help too. Allow the stories to be told with great talent and skill. Write screenplays, write pilots, write a series. Right.

Merry Christmas
An entire planet of humans count time, the most precious commodity, based on the biggest Peacenik's walk on earth, yet so many seek power with violence and greed.
I'm glad we can join forces with the healthier example and continue manifesting peace, joy, gratitude and generosity every day.

Any dis-ease may not be a choice, yet finding the lessons of them and the good in them is a choice that leads to healing.
Addiction may not be a choice, yet sobriety is.
Rape may not be a choice, surviving it, thriving to work towards equality and respect for all is.
Homelessness may not be a choice, allowing others to help you is. Thank you for letting me help.
How others perceive you may not be your choice, yet the choice to love unconditionally, even that which we don't like, is the greatest choice
we can make.


All One
flower grows out of the wall
"Lonliness is the human condition"

Within you is spirit, your godself is not so human
Go within and discover you are not alone
you are
all one

something to expound upon, make into an essay
flower grows out of the wall
Fewer and fewer humans are being born that are the type to fit into the school system style of teaching we currently have in place. The current way of forcing round pegs in square spaces, of identifying those round pegs as deficient in angles and disordered for not fitting into square spaces is one of the many branches of a sickening tree we know as sexism. Sexism, the original fault. How long will it take for the US to catchup and allow for whole mind, whole person, celebrating differences, equality in education?

duality has it's winners
flower grows out of the wall
“it’s a man’s world”
the illusion informs
a woman can follow
or she may become a devious leader
made hideous by that fabrication of
"man's world"
equitable adoration
which is not
matriarchal nor patriarchal
is a fantasy worthy bringing into
this is a human's world spirited by the non dual realm

my son sun joy
flower grows out of the wall
If anything ever happens to me, make sure Hanz reads the Gospel of Thomai
and checks his email as I've sent stuff there for him to read and I know he doesn't check it often.
password to his gmail acct is in the next friend's only post.

precious gems
flower grows out of the wall
You can create Balance.

You can give your daughter a strong name, save the diminutive name for your pets. You can remind her that it is healthy and attractive to do well, to stretch and grow and to win. Not to worry about the boys who only like her when she loses, they aren't hers to take care of; let them go the way of the dinosaurs. As with all children, just let them be who they really are. See them as gems, raw, cut, polished- gems!

Let your boys play with dolls, wear pink, care, love, cry, no shaming them when they lose-some the greatest successes have come after many losses.

Treat them as LOVE INCARNATE. Celebrate their process, no matter what.

surround sound
flower grows out of the wall
Duality is an illusion. There is no need to see the world in black and white. We get to experience the full spectrum of color, of sound, of height and width, male and female, in and out, up and down, strong and weak, awake and asleep - and everything in between.

flower grows out of the wall
No thing can prevent us from being one.

The struggle to define us as separate is a dis ease.

When it comes to war, to killing and maiming children, people on all "sides" will fabricate justifications.

No justification can take away the ripple effect. There are no sides. We are all one.

swimming is healing
flower grows out of the wall
the next place I live in will have a warm water pool that I can swim in everyday.


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