in the world

Volunteer work, these are the cameras I get to direct- blessed.
Agape Media Team participation:
Cam 1: Justin
Cam 2: Maryanne
Cam 3: Cede
Cam 4: Nargess
Lights: Wendell & Anne
Multiple Cameras
Director:
Thomai
Media Dept. Prod/Direct:
Paul

my sister got us tickets to see this amazing show in NY (over a decade ago)
it was incredible.

Regarding Mr. Big, the part that is hard to forgive myself for,  is that I fell for it.  He was faking it and I fell for it- again.
Doh!
I mean really.
(shakes head)

I want to write emails that defend my position, who and how I actually am and tear apart his lies, his hiding, his weak position, but,
I wont.
I share a request that he meditate on releasing any negativity from this or any life- so that if there is a such thing as reincarnation, maybe I wont have to deal with him again.  If it's past life shit, I dunno what I did to him, but, I'd say we're even.  Maybe he can say the same and poof, we're done.
Past life theory/ possibility aside,
better to have the last words with him in this lifetime be of peace and unconditional love:
I forgive, I let go, I love

it's all good eventually.

Wish I was there to celebrate it with my Canadian friends!

Happy Day ya'll!

I've been dealt good cards and seriously bad cards

Rather than ask" WHY?" I learned to ask "WHAT"? and got a lot more out of life that way.
It's easier, opens a road for forgiveness, acceptance and above all LEARNING. At least that is what works for me.
I try on "WHY" occasionally, it's a bad fit.  "WHAT?" fits me when I am accomplishing things that were supposed to be impossible (like still being alive in this incarnation), when I am dong nothing, when I am listening and when I am not- it fits all the time- especially right now. What is this doing for me, what am I learning from this, What on earth is going on here? What can I do? What happened? What it is...it is what it is.


Why oh why ?
became
what oh what ?
became
so what !
became
letting it go...
and
moving
on

Grace the hard way or grace with ease

all ways
Grace.
All. ways.
Lead to grace.
It's all grace.

What would Joseph Campbell say? The public is learning about relationship and divorce (passive aggressive dads and moms that take on the dictator role) via J&K+8. It's healing something for a lot of us. They're sacrificing in a way they might not even be aware. And how many white girls had the MJ cartoon poster in their room (when he was brown) & had a crush that got by their racist parents? Depp in that clip reminding us of art and the artists process like a European, but, he's one of ours! Meanwhile, a performance artist is on another station flipping people out at awards shows and taking up the very space that is MJs star for a premiere.
Oh,
what would Joseph Campbell say?

A radically talented musician, dancer, writer, performer who lived a life of controversy and eccentricities that may have crossed the line, has passed. But, not before creating a lot of positive change in the world using his gifts.


Michael Jackson changed the Music Video medium and actually made it great for awhile there. Music Video became filmic- gorgeous, high commercial budgets, storylines, FX, the works!
He worked with directors like Mark Romanek, Wayne Isham, Spike Lee, and John Landis, the best choreographers, cinematographers, costume, wardrobe,etc. He made a lot of careers what they are today; he was an industry unto himself.

I wonder who owns Neverland now?
WIll Neverland be the new Graceland?
Or did MJ take tragic superstar to a level so far beyond Elvis and Spears that it wont be visited?
Is it too creepy with the charges of alleged child molestation there?


What will the children who were legally in his care say when they grow up? Who are they? Who's children are they, for real?
Plenty of mystery in that mans legacy.

May there be ease on down the road.

3 simple steps if you're married (applies to monogamous agreement)
& you find yourself attracted to another

1) seek counsel
2) repair marriage or file for separation
3) continue in marriage or get divorced


Perhaps these steps should be included in marriage vows?

Last week, I turned down a directing gig.

Read about it here

I've run on thick, bouncy grass to shelter under  enormous tree when the rain began to fall hard
I've felt the crunch of frost underfoot with my arms wrapping coat and scarf around as shield
I've held my face and mouth wide open to the sun, rain and snow melting on my tongue
I sang out of tune, whispered sweet nothings and yelled and screamed both in joy and frustration till my voice was harsh
I've felt great pride burst forth from my chest
and shame has dropped my shoulders and hung my head
worry and trust seem to have become one coin
I flip all day
I've kept my chin parallel to the earth, bracing myself as I jumped another hurdle
I've nurtured children & roses till they bloomed all year long
20 somethings have come and gone
These days I speed my car into a barely wide enough concrete space

When was the last time I danced to the song that was written for me
the constant is my passion is ever changing is my passion
Lovely

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

Reposted from snakypoet</span>

1. Life isn't fair,  but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with the Goddess. She can take it..

9.. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others.  You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret,   you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; the Goddess never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that  isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger..

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words  'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. Goddess loves you because of who Goddess is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day.  Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43.. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

I agree with Debbie Allen that So You Think You Can Dance has been revolutionary for dance. It was and it could be again, however, right now it is being ground up by the machine, instead of changing the machine.

On So You Think You Can Dance this year, if the best dancer wins, it will be a male.
In this years auditions, the best female dancers were not the most sexually marketable for television. When will they learn that females can sell more than sex? There were extremely skilled and talented, passionate, interesting characters let go for what appears to be their lack of sex appeal.
They did not let one of the best female dancers through. She was last years "almost top 20" and this year, she didn't make it again- even after the choreographer cried at her talent and swooned at the dancers presentation of said choreographers work.
Why was such great talent and SKILL let go? Oh, her nose and her chin, of course.
I'd rather see an unusual chin and a larger nose with the passion of that lovely dancer, that would change the way America looks at a nose and a chin, than a bunch of models being thrown around the stage. Look at the female dancers that have been selected for the show and you'll see a bunch of short, fitness model types who happen to be dancing right now. Among the fitness model looking girls is a ballroom, one trick pony, dancin' girl, who has the sexiest stage presence the show has ever seen. She is Asian + she's hot = ratings! Sex sells and they let the females sell it. They'll look good on the arms of the good looking, OK, and not so great looking male dancers who have shown extreme talent and skill. Then they will be pecked off one by one when it comes to solo dances.
Sex sells but not enough to win. It's likely that a male, regardless of what he looks like, will win over the TV audience. If he is not the standard handsome, he'll CHANGE what is considered handsome. The females could have done that too, if only they would let the best through. They allowed one male dancer, with no technique, who is cute and has personality go through. It's insulting to the phenomenally skilled and talented guy who didn't get his place cause he didn't bring enough marketable charm to the stage. A dancer is to dance, not to charm. Still, 9 of the males are off the hook in their skills and talent.
2 or 3 of the females are off the hook, but, they also HAVE to be "good to look at" as well. All of the female dancers posses at least fitness model, standard of beauty, looks.
9 great male dancers versus 2 or 3 great female dancers = odds stacked in the favor of a male winner this year.

The great choreographer, Mia Michaels, exposed herself as a *handle when she said she usually only responds to what male presence can bring to the stage.
Yeah, Mia, I love your choreography, but, in your judging, it shows. You didn't stand up for the best female dancers.
and that is how TV is killing the best thing to happen to dancein decades.

* when the axe entered the forest, one of the trees announced to the others, "Hey, the handle is one of us!"
African Proverb

support feminists in media-

read and comment on the blogs
watch the webisodes and send links to friends
when you choose to spend 12 bucks on a movie -
use a feminist check list:
is it female character driven? 
are the females in the story developed at all?
is it directed,
written or
produced by a female?

Support 51% with your choices.

I’m so preoccupied with creative thoughts and spiritual expansion that I forgot to brush my long, wet hair after I got out of the shower.  So abstracted I don’t remember the details of the shower, but, I feel clean so I must have gone through the usual steps.
I suddenly remembered that my clothes were in the washer, waiting since 3 pm to be moved to dryer, then  returned to their waiting place until further use.
As I walk out into the darkness, down the stairs and around the corner to the laundry room, the sensor lights my landlord installed come on.  I see my shadow and suddenly feel the way my shadow looks- like that pre pubescent girl with the long un brushed hair, wild and dirty from playing ball with the boys, in the woods climbing trees, skipping and kicking up dirt and pebbles, rolling in grass after 100 cartwheels.  My head is the first place I sweat and it’s where I sweat the most.  My hair was often long and wet, un brushed and flowing just a little bit at the ends while the rest hung heavy as I traveled through  one adventurous mission to another.
My freshly cleaned hair is wet and heavy, wild and wispy at the ends feeling just like that girl, right now.

I don’t know exactly what’s in store for me, what is right around the corner?
I’m in the void.
Another job has been pushed- this one to Sept.
Rent is due and I don’t have it.
The short film is in post- working on it tomorrow and again and again till it’s ready to be seen.
There seems to be a loop on Discovery channel-  a channel I seldom watch-
Yes, this is a loop. I’ve seen the polar bear shake her head like that earlier tonight...the ice will be too thin and it will fall in.  Somehow it survives, just barely.  Next the salmon will hope for rain to survive the low level of water they swam into.  The fox will shed it’s winter white coat and seek out a mate in the short time it has to procreate. The majestic grace of the eagle as it snatches it's prey from the water sweeps the screen.
All these animals, going home or far from, living off what they've stored within or hunting, some alone some  in groups,
just barely surviving
and here I am,  a human be-ing,
thriving.

sometimes I just hide at home and isolate.
I finish several books in a matter of days,TV on in the background & I communicate online.
sometimes I have a routine that takes me to the gym, to work, to volunteer, to the library- doing, doing, doing.
sometimes I have the discipline to go out and network.
for the last 10 months or so, I'm up by 7am regardless of how late  got to sleep.

I'm craving production. CRAVING it.
Directing, Producing PMing or ADing

work and income IN COME !!!!

too many gigs were 1099 - that doesn't go into unemployment insurance, so my
Unemployment checks are  not nearly enough for me to live off of-

calling in satisfying work, now.